Such good writing, as always Lesley. Thank you. So conflicted on this. May be just mad, like an 'old woman', haha. On the one hand I love that we are saying all these important things, that we are fighting the dismissiveness, this invisibility, with all our might. On the other, it triggers me to no end, that we have the need to do so, to even write about it. So much beauty in different ages, especially in us, and you have beautifully written as to the whys.
I thought about how as a child growing up in Hawaii that my asian friends lived in multi generational homes. Often their Grandmothers ruled the roost. The older generation where treated with the utmost respect. After a little searching, I found that eastern or "Confucius" philosophy see's life is an ongoing moral pilgrimage with old age the summit of the lifelong journey. In the West we frame aging as a period of decline.
I feel so much wiser with each year. I can let go and observe more which only adds to me learning and makes me a happier, wiser, human.
I totally agree with the dissolving away of interest or curiosity that exists now about me in my 70’s. Moms of my age clearly remember when the shift happened from eyes on you to your daughters when you all entered a room. So, it feels a bit complicated. We aren’t really taught how to engage with and include the older generation as we raise our families and are in the throws of busy family life. Our children know we are capable, intelligent and strong beasts of burden. They haven’t entered our stage. It’s easy for me to feel left out in family gatherings as the rowdy fun topics around the table are 1 liners from movies and songs ( I’ve never seen or heard)
It’s probably always been this way, and I’m just now slowing down and witnessing it.
Yes to being honest and vocal and sharing our incredible stories and wisdom.
I find cards ( birthday, and holiday ) that accompany a gift give me a chance to express the strengths and wisdom I see in my children and grandchildren. Part of my wisdom is to support them as we all need to be seen and acknowledged.
The rose is beautiful and fragrant long after it blooms.❤️
I totally get what you're saying. I try to stay on top of our current culture so I can communicate with my children and grandchildren but I sometimes still feel like the odd woman out. I imagine this is the time we are supposed to turn inward and honor ourselves. "And so the hand of time will take the fragments of our lives and make out of life’s remnants, as they fall a thing of beauty after all." Douglas Malloch
Great post Les..loved it. Gotta say I have been invisible most of my life. I embrace it..love being alone. Perhaps if we all embrace our invisibility we have more power than we thought
Thoughtful post. Thank you. As a short, average looking woman, I've always felt this way. It seems more so at the 60+ age. But I also realize, that sometimes I like being able to disappear so I can be the observer. Other times, I want to be apart of the party. The last couple years, I've turned my hair pink just to stand out. Having young friends helps too!
Pink hair! Way to go. People do take notice. How daring of you, and fun. Most of my close friends are younger, too. That is a definite benefit to not feeling invisible.
So true, all of this - I always strive to be a person that no one feels the need to connect with a (shaming?) number but it is tricky. And sometimes I don't want to always "try" so hard.
Such good writing, as always Lesley. Thank you. So conflicted on this. May be just mad, like an 'old woman', haha. On the one hand I love that we are saying all these important things, that we are fighting the dismissiveness, this invisibility, with all our might. On the other, it triggers me to no end, that we have the need to do so, to even write about it. So much beauty in different ages, especially in us, and you have beautifully written as to the whys.
Thank you for your kind words and insight. In the end, we get to choose how, when, where, and why to be seen or not; we always get to choose.
I thought about how as a child growing up in Hawaii that my asian friends lived in multi generational homes. Often their Grandmothers ruled the roost. The older generation where treated with the utmost respect. After a little searching, I found that eastern or "Confucius" philosophy see's life is an ongoing moral pilgrimage with old age the summit of the lifelong journey. In the West we frame aging as a period of decline.
I feel so much wiser with each year. I can let go and observe more which only adds to me learning and makes me a happier, wiser, human.
We reach the summit whether society sees us that way or not. Maybe it's life's best kept secret.
I totally agree with the dissolving away of interest or curiosity that exists now about me in my 70’s. Moms of my age clearly remember when the shift happened from eyes on you to your daughters when you all entered a room. So, it feels a bit complicated. We aren’t really taught how to engage with and include the older generation as we raise our families and are in the throws of busy family life. Our children know we are capable, intelligent and strong beasts of burden. They haven’t entered our stage. It’s easy for me to feel left out in family gatherings as the rowdy fun topics around the table are 1 liners from movies and songs ( I’ve never seen or heard)
It’s probably always been this way, and I’m just now slowing down and witnessing it.
Yes to being honest and vocal and sharing our incredible stories and wisdom.
I find cards ( birthday, and holiday ) that accompany a gift give me a chance to express the strengths and wisdom I see in my children and grandchildren. Part of my wisdom is to support them as we all need to be seen and acknowledged.
The rose is beautiful and fragrant long after it blooms.❤️
I totally get what you're saying. I try to stay on top of our current culture so I can communicate with my children and grandchildren but I sometimes still feel like the odd woman out. I imagine this is the time we are supposed to turn inward and honor ourselves. "And so the hand of time will take the fragments of our lives and make out of life’s remnants, as they fall a thing of beauty after all." Douglas Malloch
Great post Les..loved it. Gotta say I have been invisible most of my life. I embrace it..love being alone. Perhaps if we all embrace our invisibility we have more power than we thought
I, too, prefer the invisibility. I guess it's the introvert in us. Embracing it is fine with me, lol.
As a 74 year old woman I really enjoyed and identified with this article.
Thanks, Vicki.
Thoughtful post. Thank you. As a short, average looking woman, I've always felt this way. It seems more so at the 60+ age. But I also realize, that sometimes I like being able to disappear so I can be the observer. Other times, I want to be apart of the party. The last couple years, I've turned my hair pink just to stand out. Having young friends helps too!
Pink hair! Way to go. People do take notice. How daring of you, and fun. Most of my close friends are younger, too. That is a definite benefit to not feeling invisible.
So true, all of this - I always strive to be a person that no one feels the need to connect with a (shaming?) number but it is tricky. And sometimes I don't want to always "try" so hard.
Your quote selection is solid :)
I think those who know me don't connect me to a number. And they've said so. So if strangers see me as an "old lady" that's fine with me. Their loss!