We Know Things

what should we do about it?

Have you ever stopped to think about all the information stored in your body and brain? Do you realize what a treasure trove of facts, memories, knowledge, and experiences you have compared to someone 5, 15, 50, 55 or more, years younger than you are? What a gift! And to think we are still adding to it! How lucky are we?

I’m not just an old lady. I contain multitudes – all the stages of my life, all the ages I’ve ever been. Hilma Wolitzer

We are a source of unique perspectives, historical context, life lessons learned, and accumulated wisdom gained through navigating challenges, making decisions, and building meaningful and/or working relationships. We’ve solved problems without the tools and means of modern times. We have years of practice overcoming barriers, maintaining old and creating new traditions, and making good and creative use of our stored knowledge. We’ve experienced and shared happy and sad times and tales, along with magical and meaningful stories of people and events that came before. And we’ve likely read more books.

Yet, in many instances, we get no respect, especially if we are women. Too often, we are portrayed as meddling, stuffy, judgmental, and crazy old ladies. We’ve been dismissed for what we don’t know and forgotten for what we do know. We have reason to believe we are not needed.

The words “in my day” or “when I was your age” often turn on the tune-out button. I remember a time when I was offering advice to my oldest daughter regarding her infant. Her response was, “Things are different now, Mom.” That was 18 years ago, before the Internet and social media were bastions of information. I am older and wiser now and know when to give advice and when to hush up.

We are invisible, or so the saying goes. This idea - that older women are overlooked - has been around for decades. Many women openly share their experience of feeling disregarded as they age, particularly once they hit their 60s. Sadly, the idea itself has existed in various forms throughout history, reflecting societal attitudes towards aging women. Few modern cultures respect and seek out the wisdom we embody.

Are we invisible? Many of us feel that way. It does have its advantages at times. I must inject here that sometimes (many, to be honest), I want to be invisible, moving quietly through the world as if it were mine alone. The rest of the time, I navigate it in such a way that if I am noticed, I want people to think I am a friendly, vibrant, healthy, intelligent, creative, and ageless woman. I dress and carry myself, hoping to come across as a woman who knows things. A mysterious smile is my favorite adornment.

In spite of our prevailing invisibility, I do believe we are making headway. Older women are speaking up and out, making themselves, their viewpoints, and their stories known, drawing attention to themselves, and earning the respect and visibility we all deserve. While I do not favor the older celebrities with artificially induced ageless faces, they are being seen and heard. Why hide the faces we’ve earned - lines, wrinkles, sags, and all. It’s not about the wrapping. The value lies in the gift of wisdom within. Give it it’s glow.

Diane Von Furstenberg has a great idea, “I would change the word aging to say living,” she said. “Instead of saying, ‘How old are you?’ people should say, ‘How long have you lived?’ It automatically focuses your attention on the positive. Even to a child.”

I imagine you get respect and visibility from your peers - other wise women. As we close out this year, let’s make a plan to become more visible to those who may also become invisible one day. Let’s eradicate invisibility! What can you do in 2025 to raise the visibility of women of a certain age, if only for yourself?

Quotes of the Week

Don't try to "age with grace." Age with mischief, audacity and a great story to tell. raven_corvus_ on Instagram

Women are told that when we reach a certain number, we’re no longer valuable. I believe the opposite. Society should look at us as jewels as we get older. Because the older women get, the more formidable we are. Halle Berry

I’m tired of trying to be young. I don’t want to be young. I’ve been young. Andie McDowell