I have had the good fortune of knowing you personally for a period of your life. Your true self is on the inside. I enjoyed who I saw on your inside. But, I can relate thoroughly to what you are feeling.
From an early age we are taught
“ Don’t judge a book by its cover “. My harshest critic of how I look is me. I am angry that when I was younger I wasted my outward beauty by not wearing that skin proudly. But, I have been the same on the inside all these years. That is the person people see when they look At me.
At each stage of life we are challenged with a different set of circumstances to deal with. That is what I am wearing now. I look tired, worried and fatter than I have been. Yes there is a part of me that hates me. Then there is the caring, nurturing inside. As I go through a very tough journey now (my husband had MS), I think who would he prefer to see when I approach. Yes, I wish I could be that BEAUTIFUL and caring person. I do not see myself as that. But the caring part is permanent part of me. The outside has definitely changed but my essence will be there forever. That will have to be good enough!
Is the camera an arbiter of truth or reality? I don’t think so. I use photos, as do you; in my work but it’s just one layer. The true character of a person is so much more complex.
It’s all about what’s on the inside that matters. Others see you for you, and how you see the world; kindness, love, respect and positivity makes us look and feel radiant. You look the same to me in the before and after pictures. You will also always look like my mom ❤️
Oh my, your words speak to me -- are screaming at me, for that matter! I take horrible selfies -- and even when I was younger (and selfies didn't exit) I was not very photogenic. I try NOT to glance in mirrors when shopping. I feel so, so, so much younger than how I look. It incites me and it's so hard for me to accept that the beauty inside me (Yes, I DO accept that I have a beautiful spirit and soul...and outer personality for that matter!) transcends the "look" of a 75+ aging woman. I keep working on this one... "Mirror, mirror on the wall..."
There is beauty in the unlined face. It speaks of youth, innocence, and promise. There is also beauty in the aged face. It speaks to experience and wisdom. The eyes may not be able to see the outside world as clearly, but if you gaze into the eyes of the elderly you will find clarity of inner vision. The unlined face speaks to a story yet to be written. The lined face asks you to sit and listen to the chapters already written as well as a new way of reading the chapters yet to come.
I look into the mirror and see a face with lines, the beginnings of jowls, and permanent circles under my eyes. My vanity causes me to reach for lotions and concealers on most days, but there are other days that I celebrate. Those are the days when I show up with a face sans makeup, trusting that I am loved for who I am inside versus the beauty of a face not yet marred by time. I am well lived by the man I married, but I am also well loved by me.
Thank you for your beautiful words, Lesley. They are thought provoking in the best ways possible.
Thanks so much, for your insightful words, Denise. All true! You've made me realize I feel obligated to look better via makeup when I go out into the world. Why am I trying to hide what everyone already knows?
The beauty and beholder platitudes are hard to summon when we look in the mirror or take a selfie (I never do!), aren’t they? As women who have been swept up with the societal expectations of beauty, it is difficult to keep ourselves rooted in our worth when the world discards us like plastic bottles. When I’m killing it on the treadmill incline and people pass by, they sometimes do a double take. My teenager tells me it’s because my gray hair doesn’t align with the speed and sweat. The conundrum of aging is so often at odds with the desires of our heart.
I do think there is a long-held societal image of grey-haired, "old" women. I like to think of my white hair as my aura, one I've worked hard for. What was old in the 50s is no longer valid. It will be interesting to see if things change over my, hopefully, 30 remaining years.
Oh my gosh how this hits home. I definitely don’t match my inner and outer self. Seeing my ever thinning hair and saggy skin reminds me of the fact that I have survived 65 years of life. Hopefully gaining wisdom and insight as I go. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Also, I would be curious about your thoughts on using AI in art making. I received a lot of negative feedback from people when I showed a self portrait altered by AI.
Thanks, Cody. As for AI, I believe it all comes down to the intention behind its use. I use it in my art to make old, poor-quality photos look more relatable in our day and time. I would never start posting AI-assisted photos of myself and trying to pass them off as how I look. But playing with AI is AOK for the fun of it. If you get a professional photo, they enhance it, but not to the extent that an AI app would.
Oh I loved this, Lesley. You have hit me where I live! Daily struggling to reconcile what I see in the mirror with the “real” me. I remember what my German grandmother always said … “We grow too soon old, and too late smart.” (I’m still waiting for the “smart” part, LOL!) Laughter always helps. Thanks for such a thoughtful letter.
Thanks, Linda. I imagine we all will always have our mirror moments. I'm learning to smile at the person I am inside rather than the old outer package.
I totally agree! I’m always surprised when I see my Mother’s face looking back from the mirror. It’s a good thing to always feel younger despite what the outside packaging says.
I have had the good fortune of knowing you personally for a period of your life. Your true self is on the inside. I enjoyed who I saw on your inside. But, I can relate thoroughly to what you are feeling.
From an early age we are taught
“ Don’t judge a book by its cover “. My harshest critic of how I look is me. I am angry that when I was younger I wasted my outward beauty by not wearing that skin proudly. But, I have been the same on the inside all these years. That is the person people see when they look At me.
At each stage of life we are challenged with a different set of circumstances to deal with. That is what I am wearing now. I look tired, worried and fatter than I have been. Yes there is a part of me that hates me. Then there is the caring, nurturing inside. As I go through a very tough journey now (my husband had MS), I think who would he prefer to see when I approach. Yes, I wish I could be that BEAUTIFUL and caring person. I do not see myself as that. But the caring part is permanent part of me. The outside has definitely changed but my essence will be there forever. That will have to be good enough!
So lovely to hear from you, Ellen. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I know you are as beautiful to him as I am to mine. Your essence shines.
Is the camera an arbiter of truth or reality? I don’t think so. I use photos, as do you; in my work but it’s just one layer. The true character of a person is so much more complex.
You are right. Thankfully, the camera is only a tool, and the mirror is only a "reflection" of the body that houses the soul.
It’s all about what’s on the inside that matters. Others see you for you, and how you see the world; kindness, love, respect and positivity makes us look and feel radiant. You look the same to me in the before and after pictures. You will also always look like my mom ❤️
Thanks, and remember your own, wise words as you grow more beautiful with age.
Omgosh…this is like a personal statement about me coming from you!
Love it and feel it every day!
Thank you for expressing so well.
XoxoA
LOL. From what I've seen, you are very photogenic. xox
Oh my, your words speak to me -- are screaming at me, for that matter! I take horrible selfies -- and even when I was younger (and selfies didn't exit) I was not very photogenic. I try NOT to glance in mirrors when shopping. I feel so, so, so much younger than how I look. It incites me and it's so hard for me to accept that the beauty inside me (Yes, I DO accept that I have a beautiful spirit and soul...and outer personality for that matter!) transcends the "look" of a 75+ aging woman. I keep working on this one... "Mirror, mirror on the wall..."
It's pretty common, isn't it? Perhaps if we can remember that the eyes are the window to the soul, we can look at ourselves more lovingly.
I had this exact 'revelation" this week Lesley...thank you for putting it into words for me!
I'm glad you found the truth of the mirror, um, matter, lol.
I loved this Lesley.
Thanks, Jamie.
There is beauty in the unlined face. It speaks of youth, innocence, and promise. There is also beauty in the aged face. It speaks to experience and wisdom. The eyes may not be able to see the outside world as clearly, but if you gaze into the eyes of the elderly you will find clarity of inner vision. The unlined face speaks to a story yet to be written. The lined face asks you to sit and listen to the chapters already written as well as a new way of reading the chapters yet to come.
I look into the mirror and see a face with lines, the beginnings of jowls, and permanent circles under my eyes. My vanity causes me to reach for lotions and concealers on most days, but there are other days that I celebrate. Those are the days when I show up with a face sans makeup, trusting that I am loved for who I am inside versus the beauty of a face not yet marred by time. I am well lived by the man I married, but I am also well loved by me.
Thank you for your beautiful words, Lesley. They are thought provoking in the best ways possible.
Thanks so much, for your insightful words, Denise. All true! You've made me realize I feel obligated to look better via makeup when I go out into the world. Why am I trying to hide what everyone already knows?
The beauty and beholder platitudes are hard to summon when we look in the mirror or take a selfie (I never do!), aren’t they? As women who have been swept up with the societal expectations of beauty, it is difficult to keep ourselves rooted in our worth when the world discards us like plastic bottles. When I’m killing it on the treadmill incline and people pass by, they sometimes do a double take. My teenager tells me it’s because my gray hair doesn’t align with the speed and sweat. The conundrum of aging is so often at odds with the desires of our heart.
I do think there is a long-held societal image of grey-haired, "old" women. I like to think of my white hair as my aura, one I've worked hard for. What was old in the 50s is no longer valid. It will be interesting to see if things change over my, hopefully, 30 remaining years.
Oh my gosh how this hits home. I definitely don’t match my inner and outer self. Seeing my ever thinning hair and saggy skin reminds me of the fact that I have survived 65 years of life. Hopefully gaining wisdom and insight as I go. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Also, I would be curious about your thoughts on using AI in art making. I received a lot of negative feedback from people when I showed a self portrait altered by AI.
Thanks, Cody. As for AI, I believe it all comes down to the intention behind its use. I use it in my art to make old, poor-quality photos look more relatable in our day and time. I would never start posting AI-assisted photos of myself and trying to pass them off as how I look. But playing with AI is AOK for the fun of it. If you get a professional photo, they enhance it, but not to the extent that an AI app would.
Oh I loved this, Lesley. You have hit me where I live! Daily struggling to reconcile what I see in the mirror with the “real” me. I remember what my German grandmother always said … “We grow too soon old, and too late smart.” (I’m still waiting for the “smart” part, LOL!) Laughter always helps. Thanks for such a thoughtful letter.
Thanks, Linda. I imagine we all will always have our mirror moments. I'm learning to smile at the person I am inside rather than the old outer package.
I totally agree! I’m always surprised when I see my Mother’s face looking back from the mirror. It’s a good thing to always feel younger despite what the outside packaging says.
I do my mother, too. And she radiated love, so that's what I'm trying to do.
Ty Lesley for your thoughts. My husband has been my Superman and will continue to be. For him, getting through everyday is triumphant.
I look forward to your future posts. It seems like our head space has very similar thoughts.