You are not yet us, but we are still you

just older & wiser

(I was away on a short break this past week, therefore this is an updated version of an April 2013 blog post. Fresh writing will return next Monday.)

I want to talk to all the younger women who see us as “old ladies” What you are seeing is an old, or more appropriately, older, mature body. Inside every older body is a woman just like you. Our bodies may age, but we do not age.

I’m a busy woman. I live a vibrant, active life. Unless I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, in my mind’s eye, I am still the teenager who married my high-school sweetheart, the young mother giving birth to six children, the 40-something who finally found her voice and found the time to get it out into the world.

My hair turned white when I was in my 40s. At the time I thought it was cool. I still do. I know I still turn heads (I just don’t know what they are thinking now, lol). My hair may be white and I may have seventeen grandchildren, but my mind, my spirit is still around 30-something.

I’m seen as an old lady, now. That is, if I’m seen at all since I’m at the “invisible” age, which actually is not so bad since it is really a magical trait that we can use to our advantage. At least I’d like to think so. Perhaps you agree?

10 years ago, at the ripe old age of 60, I taught a class at Art & Soul, a national art retreat. There was a 42 year old woman in my class. At the end of class she said that all of her friends had teased her for signing up for my class because it was going to be “a bunch of old women sitting around talking about their stories.” She couldn’t wait to tell them how wrong they were. She got exactly what she needed and wanted from the class and learned that we all share the same worries, fears, dreams, and passions. Age is NOT a factor.

I know many younger women see older women as “less than,” no longer vital, full of outdated, old-fashioned ideas and advice. Yet we are just like you. We are you. We have lived our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. We did not pass through them, they are a part of us. Hell, we excavated and paved the way for you. These years of life experience made us who we are today. and created a world where you can be you, not someone else’s idea of who you should be or what things you can do.

We are still you, but you, not having lived all these years, are not yet us.

And therein lies our power. It is this maturity and wisdom that is the source of our power. Older women are no longer trying to be someone or something. We just are (and a lot happier because of it). The gift of age, the power, and the magic lie in this earned wisdom. It is this wisdom that leads us to do for others. We not only have the time and energy, but we have the passion and dedication to make this world a better place. Our power can be as intimate as one grandmother encouraging her granddaughter who, “can’t stop arting,” to a tribe of mature women creating large-scale initiatives and change around the world.

If you are not yet an older woman and still don’t quite understand what I am trying to say, let me sum it up with this request. Get to know an older woman, your grandmother, perhaps. Don’t think of us as other. Get to know her so well that you see that she is much like you in many ways.  Age is just a state of mind. Our bodies may show signs of the years, but inside every one of us lies an ageless soul. Gertrude Stein said it best, “We are always the same age inside.”

“Age is a state of mind. Youth and age exist only among the ordinary people. All the more talented and exceptional of us; are sometimes old, just as we are sometimes happy, and sometimes sad.”

— Hermann Hesse