Waking Up is Hard to Do

How I got back on track

I went to bed Friday night knowing there would be plenty of snow available for snow-dyeing On Saturday. Yet I woke up sad and unmotivated, unsure whether I would make the (small) effort to do some dyeing. Most days I wake up excited and ready to jump on my latest quilt or side-project, but lately, I’ve been feeling melancholy and unmotivated and have a hard time getting going in the morning. Analytical artist that I am, I searched for any and all reasons for this change in attitude:

1. lingering malaise from my 2023 respiratory tract infection

2. feeling adrift now that my solo exhibit is over

3. a dream I had that left me feeling sad and perplexed

4. not certain what I want to do with my (remaining) life

5. SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder aka Winter Blues

6. no compelling deadlines to focus on aka too much time on my hands

7. too many ideas, not enough gumption

8. my body telling me to rest after a super busy and stressful 2023

9. all of the above

Snow doesn’t wait around so after sitting in somewhat of a stupor all morning, I unenthusiastically began the process:

1. soak fabric in soda ash.

2. gather the buckets, racks and trays

3. choose dye colors

4. bundle up and scoop a bucket of snow

5. arrange fabric on wire rack

6. pile on the snow

7. sprinkle on the dye

8. set it aside to melt

(Snow-dyeing is like Christmas. You have to let it batch (bond or cure) for several hours or overnight in a warm place for the dyes to set. I choose overnight so that I can wake up to a wonderful surprise. )

When I finished setting it all up I realized I felt energized and ready to take on more creative acts. And then it hit me! I had forgotten about my biggest life lesson - Start and the art will follow.

An oldie but goodie -

Long story short, in a different life, when I had 6 children to raise, worked with my husband as a real estate appraiser (and maybe went back to college to finish my degree) and had no time or energy for art, I made a commitment to myself to do something creative for 5 minutes every day. That regular practice of 5 minutes/day made me happy. I felt like I was accomplishing something rather than lamenting that I was doing nothing.

And guess what? I discovered that 5 minutes led to 10, often 20, sometimes 30 to an hour or more. You could say those first 5 minutes led to this unbelievable 25-year occupassion that brings me here to you today.

I was stunned when I realized I had forgotten such a vital life lesson. No, it isn’t due to old(er) age, it’s the human condition. We forget what we know for a variety of reasons. We are old enough to know better, so what’s up with that? You’ll find out in the next post next week.

The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don't go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep!
Rumi