The shell must break before the bird can fly

Flying Lesson #1

Alfred, Lord Tennyson was a renowned English poet and the leading figure of the Victorian era in poetry, publishing his first book of poetry at the age of 18. When he wrote that obvious statement that the shell must break, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about birds. More likely, he was talking to himself. Tennyson was highly sought after as a speaker and reciter of his own poetry, yet he suffered from intense stage fright and would often become ill before public appearances. The shell is a metaphor for both our comfort zone and the limitations we impose upon ourselves.

It’s innate to break out of your shell … if you’re a bird. Humans have to figure out how to do it on their own. Breaking out is not something quick and easy, like cracking an egg and freeing that yielding, yellow yolk into the breakfast frying pan. Breaking out of your shell can make you feel like you’re in that frying pan. It’s not easy or you would have done it long ago. It’s not easy for a baby bird either. A hatchling uses its beak to work its way out of the shell, a process called pipping (what a cute word). The hatchling, sometimes with the help of its parents, will continue to chip away at this hole until it emerges. It’s a process that may take hours. That’s a long time for a baby bird, considering most garden or songbirds only live 2-5 years.

Your comfort zone is a habit you’ve been developing for a long time. You may slip out through the cracks occasionally, but as we age, this comfort zone can become limiting. I get it. I have to push myself more often than not. And it’s fine if that’s where you are most comfortable and want to stay. But … since you’re here reading Further to Fly, I imagine you are not content to stay comfortable.

What if I told you that you can break out of your shell, take flight and feel all the better for it, creating more energy in the process.

Let’s take this shell thing a step further. What separates us from the birds? Intelligence, emotion, love, creativity, spirit, soul, free will, and so much more. Ask yourself, “What am I holding back?” What limits are you imposing upon yourself, upon your heart and your spirit? What are you denying or postponing? What do you think you don’t deserve? These are your shells.

“This was the lesson in dying and waking: to hold nothing back,” wrote poet and writer Mark Nepo. In his book, The Exquisite Risk, Daring to Live an Authentic Life, Nepo lays out what he realized after surviving cancer - “being who we are is essential to staying well.” Being who we are is to be holding nothing of our selves back. It is being comfortable in your own skin, flaws, fears, foibles and all. It also means celebrating and embracing your inner and outer beauty, your accomplishments and failures. (Failure is proof that you took the risk to try. Bravo!)

So how do we do this? “Risk being new,” says Nepo. I believe it is to be as a child again, opening to wonder and awe. See with new eyes, experience from a new, refreshed perspective. Carry your lifelong experience, knowledge and wisdom in your back pocket while you seek to experience the extraordinary in the ordinary.

One of the highest compliments I ever received was when a woman said, “With Lesley, what you see is what you get.” In that moment I felt truly seen for who I am and how I move through this thing we call life. I don’t know how to be anything other than myself. I live in wonder and search out the awe in my everyday. Believe me, it’s there. You just have to be looking.

Everything you need or want, everything you are looking for is already within you. Remember Glinda the Good Witch telling Dorothy, ““You’ve always had the Power, my Dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.” Rely on your intuition. Practice being open and fully in the present. Wake up the true you. Discover what makes your heart sing. Get comfortable with the known unknown.

Holding nothing back, being your authentic self, is your soul made visible. Holding nothing back is to experience the true art of living. Authentic expression through any form of art is your soul made visible. It is in the making of your art that you become whole. When all this comes together, your wings will unfold and you will be ready for flight.

Next week I’ll tell you how I know what it feels like to take flight.

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