Elderly vs Elder

can we just drop the ly and be elders?

How old is elderly? "Rather old," according to Merriam-Webster (Source). Traditionally, “elderly” is a catch-all term for those age 65 and older. As a generation, we’ve been called a few things - boomers, hippies, potheads, dropouts, (what am I forgetting?). Honestly, I prefer BOOMER even though boomers are the butt of many jokes. They may think they are laughing at us, but we are laughing with them aren’t we? I know I am. I found this video while researching. I have spawned both a Gen X and a millennial son. Skip if you don’t need a good laugh. Here’s a Generation timeline cheat sheet if you need a reference.

I am proud to be an elder. To be an elder is to be respected and honored for your age and knowledge. I always associate it with the respect shown to elders in Japanese culture. “Japanese people are kind and courteous to older people, when speaking to an elderly person they add an extra element of respect by adding their ‘san’ after their name they also use a certain way of communicating politely called ‘keigo’ (Source).

“Being an Elder is not defined by age, but rather Elders are recognized because they have earned the respect of their community through wisdom, harmony and balance of their actions in their teachings,” says Linton Weeks of NPR. In my 40s I spent an afternoon with a fellow artist. Age came up in conversation and I told her how much I enjoyed being in my 40s. When she said, “Wait until your 50s, it gets better,” I was thrilled.

I spent my formative years looking forward to the time when I would be older and wiser. Being wise was something I aspired to be from a young age. That may explain why I fell in love with quotes in my teens. I loved scanning my Dad’s big book full of wisdom, Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. In Psych 101 and under the influence of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization - to fulfill your potential in life - also became a goal I wanted to achieve. Little did I know at that time that making art = self-actualization.

I’d like to share some wise words from an elder woman who is “four years away from 90.” (12 minutes & worth the time). I want to be her when I grow older and wiser.

I worked hard to get here and did not arrive at this stage of my life only to be considered elderly. If I am a senior citizen does that mean everyone under 60 is a junior citizen? I do not want to be lumped into a term that marks me as a crazy old lady, frail, forgetful, failing, falling, scattered, and irrelevant by society. I feel insulted by the Medicare Wellness questions. Nothing about me conjures elderly, (except for the white hair I’ve had since my 40s). And while I’m ranting, I am older, not old. I now own two t-shirts, one that says “Being the same age as old people is weird” and the other, “Assuming I’m just another old lady was your first mistake”. I hesitate to wear them in public because then I will be seen as a crazy old lady.

I understand that labels are necessary. Society needs to classify things
for governmental, actuarial, research, and statistical purposes;
but can we just drop the ly and be elders?

I’ll turn the question over to you. How do you feel about the word elderly? Do you consider yourself elderly? I’d love to hear your thoughts, so leave a comment, too.

I also found this funny video while researching. I have spawned both a Gen X and a millennial son. Skip if you don’t need a good laugh. Here’s a Generation timeline cheat sheet if you need a reference.

I laughed at the “get out of the car” part. It reminded me of when I was six and my mom stopped the car and told me to get out. We were two blocks from home and I’m sure I had gotten on her last nerve. A devious and spiteful child, when she drove back around the block to pick me up, I hid in the bushes and walked home later. “That’ll teach her,” I thought. She never did it again.

Quotes of the Week

So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why doesn’t somebody wake up to the beauty of old women? Harriet Beecher Stowe (mother of six and an early role model for me)

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
Madeline L’Engle