My Insatiable Need
perhaps you have it too?
It’s a good thing I love reading because I love researching. And I love researching because I have a strong need to know which stems from a lifetime of satisfying my curiosity. I was so excited to learn how to read. My favorite book/activity in grade school was Think and Do. I always wanted to complete the whole book on the first day of school but fear of the nun’s wrath stopped me. (Maybe that’s why I’ve written 10 how-to books. Think, and Do.) At the naive age of 6, I vowed to read every book in the Bethesda Library and anxiously awaited the day I could borrow from the adult section. Some might say I am obsessed with knowing. 90% of everything I do art-wise and otherwise begins with research.
I have quite an extensive non-fiction library as a result. I blame Amazon for a lot of it, but honestly, you might be surprised how many times I refer to most of the books over and over again over the years. I’m definitely old-school because so much is now available online. So what’s the point of buying a book? Books are magic. I’ll just leave it at that.
No, actually, I want to tell you why.
You can hold them in your hands. It is a multi-sensory experience that increases comprehension. (Yes, I researched that.)
You can write in the margins, dog-ear the pages, personalize it.
You can pick it up years later and be reminded of what inspired you the first time.
You can re-read it to glean newly relevant information or ideas this time around.
If you’ve been reading Further to Fly this year, you may be aware that I am in a transition phase between creating the same art I have for the last 20 years and trying something new. I didn’t set out to research how to do this because I already know how - you go to the studio and start experimenting and trying new things. Due to my schedule and prior commitments planned before I decided to “make new work,” I haven’t started yet. There are three workshops between now and July - two that I am teaching and one that I’m taking. I can’t create and investigate with abandon while my mind is focused on planning, preparation, and packing for those.
But I’m not idle! In the meantime, I am going through my collection of inspiration journals to pull out visuals, colors, shapes, and textures that excite my eyes and spirit - some call it filling the well. I am also listening to a wonderful podcast, Just Make Art. I find golden nuggets in every episode, especially the recent 2-part episode, Distinct & Diverse. This is something I stumbled upon…or did the Universe hook me up, having it appear just when I needed it?
The same thing happened with a book I randomly found in my Kindle library (much easier to travel with). Amazon suggested it to me a week ago while I was perusing another book. I pondered the purchase at that time (because I need to know!) A few days later I went to my Kindle library for another book, and there it was, Adjacent Possible, by Nancy Hillis, MD, purchased 2.5 years ago and never read. Another timely divine coincidence. I’m halfway through it now and was most struck by these two quotes:
To grow your art and life, you must be willing to not know ahead of time what is going to emerge.
The idea of a “mistake” is often a value judgment based on previous perception. You have created something that does not fit with your prior aesthetic point of view. It is easy to call it “Ugly Art,” dispose of it, and move on. But ugliness has its place. It can be a signal for us to stop and pay attention. What am I supposed to pay attention to? Something new may be trying to emerge in your art and at first you deem it as ugly. It doesn’t fit in and bend to your will. It’s not the art you were trying to create. It is unfamiliar and threatening. You don’t identify with it and therefore reject it. Ugly art is often the nascent embryonic form of new work emerging, new art trying to be born.Quotes by Nancy Hillis, emphasis by me. I think both are worth sharing no matter where you are in your art journey.
It is not possible to research myself into creating new work. But knowing the what and why, I feel better prepared for the task at hand. I didn’t go searching for answers, but the right information came to me. It is not the first time I’ve put a thought or question out into the ether and received an unexpected reply. I may have mentioned this quote before. I had it taped to my mirror 30 years ago when I was trying to find my way into artmaking. I find it to be true.
But that’s not all Goethe said. Here’s the full text:
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can think you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
This I know to be true. I have no need to research it, I live it.
Whatever it is for you, please begin it.
Quote of the Week
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
George Bernard Shaw
So much big truth in your words here. I have lived by these same ideas and truths for nearly 60 years. They have never let me down, nor led me astray. So happy to read your version this morning. Encouragement and inspiration are always welcome friends. Thanks so much for this.
PS. My dear friend Orly, sent me your way. All the best to you.
Once again you have hit on something precious and rich. It continues to amaze me how you reach and find such subjects - jewels to be polished and explored. Thank you. I am old school. So give me an actual BOOK every time please. Even though I know there are benefits to be had from kindle and audio books. But for me, it is the personal, intimate line between two people, me and the author, that make me happy. Such a personal relationship it is. Thank you.