It's a hard thing, to slow down, even when your body is telling you that's what's needed. I think as we get older we do start to get better at saying no to things that we'd eagerly have embraced in the past, and also to some extent accept that we're never going to be able to do all the things we want to, even in 3 lifetimes.
I'm sort of at the same stage and age, and finally realising that I'm not indestructible (even if I'd like to think I am!), and I'd better behave myself so that I do have a long and happy remainder to my life.
Enjoy everything that you've achieved - it's a huge amount - and being able to take more time for yourself. Self care is essential, you can't help or do things for anyone else if you're not able to function yourself.
Time to look after yourself and do what you feel like doing - enjoy it! xx
For some reason, I was going to skip your post today. Just too many things to take care of.
Then, as I am setting here while my husband is watching a Football Game, I thought perhaps I should read your post. Boy, am I glad I did.
This truly hits me right between the eyes. I am always biting off more than I can possibly finish and so many things to keep up with. I used to push myself to the extreme and would end up with a horrible migraine that kept me in bed for 2+ days. A therapist told me that my body was taking time to rest when I was so determined not to.
But a few months ago, I made a decision to STOP doing things I no longer enjoy. No more entering art shows, the judging and waiting is just too stressful for me. No meetings I no longer enjoy. Even less social commitments. And all of this doesn't even bother me. It is great!
I am still filled with ideas and art to make, but NOW I am doing what pleases me, no pressure, no judging, just having a great time pleasing myself with anything I want to work on.
I think I have finally given myself permission to SLOW DOWN and do what I really WANT to do.
So thank you for this truly meaningful lesson, I needed it.
Wow, so glad you took the moment to read it. I know exactly how you felt about skipping a read just because there's so much else to do. It's good to hear that you have cut back on things. I'm at that point, too. It's our time now.
Thank you, Pat. I do like to think of us as hummingbirds, one of my favorite birds. I love to watch them flit and flee. But perhaps we should become more like mourning doves who move so slowly and deliberately outside my kitchen doors each day. xox
Somehow your writing seems to click with something that I am going through. I have the same quandry about the inflammation. It is a variety of seemingly unrelated things. Bursitis, chronic tendonitis, tight muscles and same imflammatory markers. I tripped a few days ago and am sporting two black eyes! Not feeling very creative ( work as a potter, not a hobby) so on a heating pad watching Italian movies and knitting. No real diagnosis from a slew of doctors.
I love how the dr's say, yes you have a high autoimmune titer but it's non-specific. I know that they don't know but it's disheartening. It's an area of research that isn't a priority. In the meantime....so sorry you fell. I hope you are healing well and enjoying the downtime. Sometimes I think that's God's way of forcing us to slow down and pay attention. In any event. Be well and get back in the studio.
My body has told me three times to slow down. The first time with Lyme disease which laid me flat for a month (just after starting a new job!), the second time with cancer and the third time with a back injury last year on the opposite coast from where I live. I learned my lesson, I hope, with the last time. My body does warn me. I get signals, but I ignore them. Usually, somewhere in the process, my husband will comment on my schedule, my mood, my lack of patience with him. Then I should know!! In the past I just kept going. Not any more!
I rest often these days and the time it takes to do that is a blessing of retirement. I've also found that "rest" doesn't mean lay down and do nothing...well...sometimes it does. I can sit on the patio and look at the woods behind the house and the beautiful fern garden I planted two years ago. I walk, at a slow, measured pace early in the morning when the world is quiet and resting. I get to my studio "when I get there" and have my little ritual of beginning the 'work' and accomplish so much in a half day of work versus a full day of commitment. And I've come to value and enjoy a good nap!
There is also mental rest. I need my time of journaling in the morning, working with oracle cards, quiet 10 minute water coloring, and meditating. It slows my overactive mind and gives me peace.
It took me over a year to make the transition from working woman to retired, at peace, rested women. It took thought and courage and willingness to change. And seriously, it's so worth it.
You and I have had hard lessons to learn to rest, more so for you. Now you know how to give yourself the rest you need and deserve, and still do the things you love. Thanks for sharing, Jan.
I grew up where resting was frowned upon or looked as lazy. We had to be “doers”. Where does that drive to keep pushing come from? To never stop? To treat ourselves kindly? To rest when we need it (luckily, I am a good sleeper and know how much sleep exactly I need or I get “off” emotionally when exhausted). Another way to think about it is that: All artists need dwelling time which may be perceived as “rest” but it is the time that the body/brain needs to be creative by observing/by experiencing/by being. I have sign that I love in my bathroom that says “The Beach: where doing absolutely nothing is doing something.” I LOVE that sign because it gives me permission (by society, by my family and most importantly by myself) to actually go to the ocean and just BE and ENJOY! Nature calms us so when we need to rest, it is great to take 15 to 30 minutes sitting in a garden or walking in the woods for those of us who can’t sit long (my max is 2 hours. LOL) Look at the light on the leaves, the shadows on the trees and listen to the birds — all relaxing, all restful.
I don't think it was frowned upon for me, but I somehow got the message that being busy was important. Raising six kids was both a motivator and a strain on my day-to-day life. I like your "dwelling time" concept. Retirement sure has its benefits.
After the trauma of losing everything at 40, I did take quite a long "rest" in which it felt like my job was going to Dr.s. They prescribed lots of pills that didn't help or made things worse. Then they were all on Zoom for a couple of years, and I just quit chasing an answer.. Then I found myself over 50 and no career, no retirement. I would love that sabbatical but if you have 0$ you just gotta keep on "managing". If there is some way to just head out to Ghost Ranch without some kind of funds saved for such a retreat, please let me know. It sounds wonderful. Even if this "malady" is "fake" I would sure like it to stop.
I'm so sorry that you've had such a difficult time and still have no answers or resources to turn things around. Sending love and positive vibes your way.
Thank you..I apologize as well for any negativity .I was feeling particularly frustrated with things the other day. I'm still working every day to stay positive and keep on keeping on. 🙂
I am feeling wiped out after two surgeries then finally going back to work after an 3 month medical leave. Then my mother died and I had my third surgery for primary hyperthyroidism, having two parathyroid glands removed Containing with all the shoulder PT and other recovery and grieving. It has really zapped my daily energy and brain function. I am leading to go slow take it easier, which is always such a struggle.
Managing multiple things at once can be challenging and is both mentally and physically draining. I don't think we are aware of the mental strain as much as the physical, but I think it is a major factor in our health. Do commit to slow and easy. For me it's still a day-to-day reminder to be kind to myself and my body.
I'm older than you are, Lesley, so I KNOW the drill. What I have my attention on when I'm not asleep or napping, is what can I do best with my time since there is less of it available! I also have to see if I can get a different med that doesn't have such a sleepy side-effect! That's pretty much it from here.
PLEASE take care of yourself. You've already lived 2 or 3 lifetimes in one!
Consider what you have to offer that is most valuable from YOUR point of view, and do that between resting!
Having just returned from the latest Red Thread retreat at Ghost Ranch:
It was lovely to watch you actually take place in a workshop, especially one that your organized, no small feat. you chose a quiet corner in which to sit, and it warmed my heart to see your face peering down as you as a student worked on the project at hand. In the 24 years that i have known and loved you, i have often considered your blocks of wood - and how organized you always managed to be. now that you and i are both in the fourth quarter, seeing you create for the simple joy of creating is a beautiful thing. Hug that wonderful man for me. Enjoy those delicious meals he makes, and take not ever for granted (as i know you do not) the blessings of having him always at your side. Rest would not come easy, i know, without his devoted and loving help.
sending so much love to you, along with deepest gratitude for all that you have been for me these many, many years….. xo
It's a hard thing, to slow down, even when your body is telling you that's what's needed. I think as we get older we do start to get better at saying no to things that we'd eagerly have embraced in the past, and also to some extent accept that we're never going to be able to do all the things we want to, even in 3 lifetimes.
I'm sort of at the same stage and age, and finally realising that I'm not indestructible (even if I'd like to think I am!), and I'd better behave myself so that I do have a long and happy remainder to my life.
Enjoy everything that you've achieved - it's a huge amount - and being able to take more time for yourself. Self care is essential, you can't help or do things for anyone else if you're not able to function yourself.
Time to look after yourself and do what you feel like doing - enjoy it! xx
I appreciate your sharing and your kind words. So sorry for the late response.
Thank you for sharing. We all need a reminder to pace ourselves. The creative flow can be intoxicating and life can get too busy.
😁
For some reason, I was going to skip your post today. Just too many things to take care of.
Then, as I am setting here while my husband is watching a Football Game, I thought perhaps I should read your post. Boy, am I glad I did.
This truly hits me right between the eyes. I am always biting off more than I can possibly finish and so many things to keep up with. I used to push myself to the extreme and would end up with a horrible migraine that kept me in bed for 2+ days. A therapist told me that my body was taking time to rest when I was so determined not to.
But a few months ago, I made a decision to STOP doing things I no longer enjoy. No more entering art shows, the judging and waiting is just too stressful for me. No meetings I no longer enjoy. Even less social commitments. And all of this doesn't even bother me. It is great!
I am still filled with ideas and art to make, but NOW I am doing what pleases me, no pressure, no judging, just having a great time pleasing myself with anything I want to work on.
I think I have finally given myself permission to SLOW DOWN and do what I really WANT to do.
So thank you for this truly meaningful lesson, I needed it.
Wow, so glad you took the moment to read it. I know exactly how you felt about skipping a read just because there's so much else to do. It's good to hear that you have cut back on things. I'm at that point, too. It's our time now.
My gosh, I hear so much of you in me. Not to the degree you have lived , or taken it. But many times on the edge of my own destruction.
I am seeing and endocrinologist now and finding out what I am lacking. Extremely anemic, low in Vitamin D, etc, etc.
Hosted a weekend party for family, several of them told me to sit down. My husband calls me a hummingbird.
Your words are wisdom for me. Thank you for sharing. I will work harder to just breathe.
Thank you, Pat. I do like to think of us as hummingbirds, one of my favorite birds. I love to watch them flit and flee. But perhaps we should become more like mourning doves who move so slowly and deliberately outside my kitchen doors each day. xox
Somehow your writing seems to click with something that I am going through. I have the same quandry about the inflammation. It is a variety of seemingly unrelated things. Bursitis, chronic tendonitis, tight muscles and same imflammatory markers. I tripped a few days ago and am sporting two black eyes! Not feeling very creative ( work as a potter, not a hobby) so on a heating pad watching Italian movies and knitting. No real diagnosis from a slew of doctors.
I love how the dr's say, yes you have a high autoimmune titer but it's non-specific. I know that they don't know but it's disheartening. It's an area of research that isn't a priority. In the meantime....so sorry you fell. I hope you are healing well and enjoying the downtime. Sometimes I think that's God's way of forcing us to slow down and pay attention. In any event. Be well and get back in the studio.
My body has told me three times to slow down. The first time with Lyme disease which laid me flat for a month (just after starting a new job!), the second time with cancer and the third time with a back injury last year on the opposite coast from where I live. I learned my lesson, I hope, with the last time. My body does warn me. I get signals, but I ignore them. Usually, somewhere in the process, my husband will comment on my schedule, my mood, my lack of patience with him. Then I should know!! In the past I just kept going. Not any more!
I rest often these days and the time it takes to do that is a blessing of retirement. I've also found that "rest" doesn't mean lay down and do nothing...well...sometimes it does. I can sit on the patio and look at the woods behind the house and the beautiful fern garden I planted two years ago. I walk, at a slow, measured pace early in the morning when the world is quiet and resting. I get to my studio "when I get there" and have my little ritual of beginning the 'work' and accomplish so much in a half day of work versus a full day of commitment. And I've come to value and enjoy a good nap!
There is also mental rest. I need my time of journaling in the morning, working with oracle cards, quiet 10 minute water coloring, and meditating. It slows my overactive mind and gives me peace.
It took me over a year to make the transition from working woman to retired, at peace, rested women. It took thought and courage and willingness to change. And seriously, it's so worth it.
You and I have had hard lessons to learn to rest, more so for you. Now you know how to give yourself the rest you need and deserve, and still do the things you love. Thanks for sharing, Jan.
Listen to Amie McNee TED talk “The Case for Making Art When the World is on Fire”
I grew up where resting was frowned upon or looked as lazy. We had to be “doers”. Where does that drive to keep pushing come from? To never stop? To treat ourselves kindly? To rest when we need it (luckily, I am a good sleeper and know how much sleep exactly I need or I get “off” emotionally when exhausted). Another way to think about it is that: All artists need dwelling time which may be perceived as “rest” but it is the time that the body/brain needs to be creative by observing/by experiencing/by being. I have sign that I love in my bathroom that says “The Beach: where doing absolutely nothing is doing something.” I LOVE that sign because it gives me permission (by society, by my family and most importantly by myself) to actually go to the ocean and just BE and ENJOY! Nature calms us so when we need to rest, it is great to take 15 to 30 minutes sitting in a garden or walking in the woods for those of us who can’t sit long (my max is 2 hours. LOL) Look at the light on the leaves, the shadows on the trees and listen to the birds — all relaxing, all restful.
I don't think it was frowned upon for me, but I somehow got the message that being busy was important. Raising six kids was both a motivator and a strain on my day-to-day life. I like your "dwelling time" concept. Retirement sure has its benefits.
Ah yes, vitamin D deficiency, etc. etc.
No $, no rest.
After the trauma of losing everything at 40, I did take quite a long "rest" in which it felt like my job was going to Dr.s. They prescribed lots of pills that didn't help or made things worse. Then they were all on Zoom for a couple of years, and I just quit chasing an answer.. Then I found myself over 50 and no career, no retirement. I would love that sabbatical but if you have 0$ you just gotta keep on "managing". If there is some way to just head out to Ghost Ranch without some kind of funds saved for such a retreat, please let me know. It sounds wonderful. Even if this "malady" is "fake" I would sure like it to stop.
I'm so sorry that you've had such a difficult time and still have no answers or resources to turn things around. Sending love and positive vibes your way.
Thank you..I apologize as well for any negativity .I was feeling particularly frustrated with things the other day. I'm still working every day to stay positive and keep on keeping on. 🙂
I totally understand. We all have days/periods like that. No need to apologize. I appreciate you taking the time to read my words. Thank you.
Well said Lesley. Advice we should all heed. Enjoy your well deserved rest and proceed at a healthier, ‘for me’ pace.
Thanks, Nancy.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
I am feeling wiped out after two surgeries then finally going back to work after an 3 month medical leave. Then my mother died and I had my third surgery for primary hyperthyroidism, having two parathyroid glands removed Containing with all the shoulder PT and other recovery and grieving. It has really zapped my daily energy and brain function. I am leading to go slow take it easier, which is always such a struggle.
Managing multiple things at once can be challenging and is both mentally and physically draining. I don't think we are aware of the mental strain as much as the physical, but I think it is a major factor in our health. Do commit to slow and easy. For me it's still a day-to-day reminder to be kind to myself and my body.
I'm older than you are, Lesley, so I KNOW the drill. What I have my attention on when I'm not asleep or napping, is what can I do best with my time since there is less of it available! I also have to see if I can get a different med that doesn't have such a sleepy side-effect! That's pretty much it from here.
PLEASE take care of yourself. You've already lived 2 or 3 lifetimes in one!
Consider what you have to offer that is most valuable from YOUR point of view, and do that between resting!
Love, Lynne
Yes, your words echo what I just wrote in reply to Lisa. Great minds.....
Hope all is well.
Having just returned from the latest Red Thread retreat at Ghost Ranch:
It was lovely to watch you actually take place in a workshop, especially one that your organized, no small feat. you chose a quiet corner in which to sit, and it warmed my heart to see your face peering down as you as a student worked on the project at hand. In the 24 years that i have known and loved you, i have often considered your blocks of wood - and how organized you always managed to be. now that you and i are both in the fourth quarter, seeing you create for the simple joy of creating is a beautiful thing. Hug that wonderful man for me. Enjoy those delicious meals he makes, and take not ever for granted (as i know you do not) the blessings of having him always at your side. Rest would not come easy, i know, without his devoted and loving help.
sending so much love to you, along with deepest gratitude for all that you have been for me these many, many years….. xo
Thank you for every word and for being my soulmate.
You help many. Thank you.