Easy Pants

Yes, you read that right

Getting dressed on this cold winter morning, I chose a thermal top and a favorite linen/cotton sweater to wear over my always-present tank top/t-shirt (yes, even in summer). Then I said to myself, I want some easy pants. I define easy pants as easy to pull up and down, as opposed to the tighter, slenderizing, chic ones I like to wear when I am having lunch with a friend, going to “the city,” or attending a meeting or party. You can take the girl out of the city zipcode, but not the dress code.

Easy pants are becoming more desirable now that my arthritic-ridden thumbs no longer play nicely. I’ve cut the elastic partway through older, “I don’t care pants” to make them easier to navigate and tuck my t-shirt into. Recently, I found some lovely-to-the-touch, easy pull pants at my local one-stop shopping store. I bought the blue and went back the next day for the black. I intentionally went up a size, and they are a bit baggy, but I’m getting to the age of comfort over style - YIKES! Style is always on my mind, thanks to my mother.

My mother grew up on the poor side of town, in Anacostia, Washington, DC, during the Great Depression and World War II. She didn’t share much about her childhood with my sister and me. It wasn’t something she liked to talk about, but once in a while she would make a random comment. One that I remember is that she had always wished she had a warm winter coat, not the cloth one she wore to school. It’s a vivid memory for me because of a class photo she had. It was her 8th-grade (maybe) class. She was in the front row, holding one end of the school banner. And there it was, her hip-length, cloth coat in a sea of warm winter coats. The lowest temperature recorded in Washington DC in 1938 was 14 °F, on Nov 27, when she was 13.

My stylish Mom on the right circa 1945

Once she was working and out on her own, she had the means to buy her own clothes. During the war, she was a hostess at the USO, dancing with the soldiers. She had to look classy. “These dances were considered a patriotic duty for hostesses and helped create a positive atmosphere for troops.” (Google AI)

Fast-forward to the 50s when voluminous petticoats were popular for women and little girls. We never had one. Mom said they weren’t classy, that I should wear a classic A-line dress. I trusted her judgment as any six-year-old would. My Mom was always concerned with being classy and tasteful. I ended up in a Catholic school uniform for 12 years. I guess that was pretty classic. I did wear a mini-skirt and fishnet stockings (with a garter belt!) to my first high school dance, where I landed a boyfriend. Dancing does run in the family. My grandmother loved the Roaring 20s.

When Jackie Kennedy became the First Lady, that was the style my mother wanted to emulate. By that time she had a mom-bod (as did I in my 40s/50s). She wasn’t big on socializing or parties, but she somehow convinced my dad that she needed/wanted a mink stole and muff like Jackie wore. Not one to wear hats, she may have even had a pillbox hat.

I think the concern for, and the attempt to always look good, was overly stressed after WWII, when the media was focused on getting the women back in the home and looking happy and perfect for their husbands. Think of June Cleaver in Leave it to Beaver, and the mother in Father Knows Best, Margaret Anderson, famously played by actress Jane Wyatt, both always calm and dressed to the nines. When I heard my daughter-in-law tell her three girls that “we are tasteful, classy, and well put together,” I realized how the ideal of the “perfect” woman was still passed down to the next generations. There is more emphasis now than ever on looking good and youthful - weight loss drugs, facelifts, all kinds of magical make-up and propaganda to keep women thinking they have to look young and beautiful. Fortunately, young women have also realized that they can be, do, and look any way they want.

Mom was self-conscious, class and clothes-conscious, and everyone loved her. She loved to talk, but more importantly, she loved to listen. She had the biggest heart you’d ever want a mother to have. All my friends loved talking to and spending time with her. She would never leave the house without “putting her face on.” She passed that habit on to me, too. God forbid I should run into someone I knew at the grocery store without looking my best. Sloppy sweats were only for the house. But not anymore. I still like to look good, but I’d rather be comfortable (and warm, right now), than stylish, don’t care if I look tired or old, because I am. I even suggested a no-makeup rule at my annual Red Thread Retreats. It’s not about how we look, it’s about who we are, how we make others feel, and feeling confident that we have, and continue to have, a life well lived.

And in the end, we all end up in easy pants, don’t we?

Quotes of the Week

Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman. Coco Chanel

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.
Rachel Zoe

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been. Madeleine L’Engle

As you get older, physical beauty tends to fade. But beauty of the mind is independent
of age and can actually increase with wisdom and experience.
Edward DeBono