Doing vs Being

Do Be Do Be DoBe DoBeDo

I’ll read a phrase somewhere and then go down a rabbit hole to find out what it means. This time it was, "the necessary counterweight to doing is being.” First, I needed to refresh my understanding of counterweight, especially in terms of intangible words vs. mechanics.

Counterweight is all about balance, and I think I’m imbalanced. I have a hard time being. I’d rather be doing - learning, making, thinking, ideating, and doing, doing, doing. I get antsy just being. I try, but after a certain point, I get restless and bored “being” when my mind is so full of things I want to or could do.

TRUTH! I, too, will often find some small task to do while I’m brushing my teeth

If I’m just doing one thing, I’ll seek out something else I can possibly do at the same time, so as to not waste valuable time. It’s a time in my life when I should be taking my time, but I am also concerned that my time is running out. My husband startled me when he said that even if I live to be 95, there are fewer than 8,000 days left, and 95 is being generous.

Is my focus on “doing” a bad thing? Looking back, I blame this “affliction” on three things -

1. My role in the 8th-grade school play, Cheaper by the Dozen. The stopwatch and whistle-toting father was a renowned efficiency expert who applied scientific management techniques—including stopwatch-timed drills—to manage his large family. I was impressed by the concept of efficiency.

2. Taking the fall semester 9-credit Systems Management class in 1982, when I was (briefly) majoring in Business. (I got an A.)

3. Actually running and managing the lives, schedules, and household of a family of 8 while simultaneously working as a self-employed real estate appraiser (along with my husband). I prided myself on my multitasking skills, a word that only referred to computers until the 90s. I should have been the poster girl for working moms and women.

The funny thing is, many, many times over the years of teaching adult women, someone has said, “You’re so calm.” I think that comes from the fact that, when faced with an upsetting or unexpected situation, my first reaction is to find a way to solve or resolve it. That calmness you see is me thinking. Logic takes over. I rarely do anything without a Plan A, B, or C in my pocket. I may appear calm on the outside, but my mind is racing on the inside.

Do I need to find a balance between constant action, both mentally and physically (doing), and a state of presence, mindfulness, and a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on accomplishment (being)? My busyness is planned, calculated, and fun. Dare I say systemized, or rather, that there is a method to my madness?

Mind you, I’m not doing it for the sake of being busy, avoiding my inner self, or trying to impress anyone. Nicola Down said, “Busy is good for the brain, but overwhelmed is not.” I can overwhelm myself, and I do know when it’s time to stop and rest. At 73, I often wear myself out by mid-afternoon and reluctantly quit for the day. My energy can be low one day and high the next. I like those high-energy days.

My doing is spurred on by my creative drive and desire to learn, and make, for my own sake. When I am doing, I am being who I am. And as I learned on Romper Room, Be a Do Bee, not a Don't Bee. I guess I’m just a busy bee. Nicola Down said, “Busy is good for the brain, but overwhelmed is not.” I do know when to stop.

So, I’ve worked this out for myself by writing this post, but I am curious about your thoughts on doing vs. being. Do share.

PS. I am closing my website shop forever on March 17. There are art supplies I no longer need, artwork I created for publication or class samples, or for my own pleasure, and more. EVERYTHING is 50% off. I am hoping it will go to a good home, so if you are so inclined, please take a look. And do share with your friends! And sorry, US shipping only. Here’s a sample…

Old photos, antique buttons, bird mixed-media quilt

Quotes of the Week

I used to think freedom meant doing whatever you want. It means knowing who you are, what you are supposed to be doing on this earth, and then simply doing it.
Natalie Goldberg

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso

Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.
Greg Anderson

Solitude gradually clarifies the heart until a true tranquility is reached.
John O’Donohue