Are you acting your age?

or embracing it?

I Remember That Yellow Chair by Jay Senetchko. A beautiful portrait of his mother.

At an age when we don’t care about what other people think, it’s important to be aware of the outdated stereotyping and ageism going on behind our backs. Historically, today's seniors are considered the "youngest" old people in history but the societal mindset hasn’t caught up to us yet. While cultural perceptions of aging are evolving, we are still being dismissed, for the most part. I love seeing what I will call age warriors out there working to change perception. They are typically women who get a lot of press, like actors and social media sensations, but I don’t care who they are as long as they are contributing to the cause.

Remember when your mom said, “Act your age,” meaning behave in a way that aligns with societal norms and expectations for your stage in life? Numerical age doesn’t always coincide with how we feel on the inside and act on the outside. So I ask you, are you acting your age?

Research shows that what you believe about getting older has an impact on how well you actually age. “Your own attitude about aging is highly predictive of your aging outcomes,” according to Sarah Barber, the psychologist behind the Georgia State University study. “Those who have positive attitudes about aging live longer, have better memory function, and recover more easily from illnesses,” according to Barber.

Groups and women, like Renewment; Spiritual Aging author Carol Orsborn’s Substack posts; and Sharon Blackie’s Hagitude book, podcast, and course; are working to change the way we approach, live, and share this trying yet exciting period of our lives.

We should all be age warriors setting, showing, and sharing examples that make people take notice of the being inside of the aging body. It can be as simple as a smile, a jaunt in your step, or red shoes. We don’t need to hide or blend in; we need to be noticed. And noticed without make-up, I might add. If I haven’t convinced you yet, here are three women who are embracing age, or did, not hiding behind age or their aged bodies.

JONI MITCHELL

Well, something's lost, but something's gained in living every day.
Joni Mitchell

Introducing her as the matriarch of imagination, Brandi Carlile joined 80-year-old Joni Mitchell on stage for her first Grammy Awards performance.

Watch HERE (you may need a tissue)

IRIS APFEL

You have to love what you’re doing with your time on this planet, and that’s what I’m doing.
Iris Apfel

Watch the ABC News tribute HERE

Watch Trailer HERE. The full length movie is available to stream on Amazon Prime

And this one will surprise you as much as it surprised me. I chose to share her with you because she is the epitome of the famous Mary Ann Evans* quote, “it is never too late to be who you might have been.” When asked about aging in a recent interview, 57-year-old Pamela Anderson (yes! that Pamela Anderson) offered her age-acquired wisdom, “I like to say the word ‘life-ing’ instead of aging; chasing youth is just futile. You're never going to get there, so why not just embrace what's going on? And since I've really just walked out the door as me, I feel a relief, just a weight off my shoulders, and I actually like it better.”

It’s not an act. How do I know? I discovered that she is on Substack and became curious. After a lifetime of journaling, Pamela has started writing The Open Journal, a weekly, public journal entry, “filled with a collection of random topics, thoughts, poetry, and love-based philosophy. It serves as an outlet for me in the hopes of inspiring others to take the journey of self-discovery.” Why have I featured her? Because she is an unexpected example of the wisdom one gains with age. To judge someone based on their past is just like being judged based on age. To validate my opinion, I just watched her 2023 documentary. It’s very eye-opening. She has earned my respect. She is definitely a role model for many women in that she does not let her past define her.

*As an author in 1857, Evans changed her name to George Eliot to conceal her gender, so her work would be taken seriously and partly to disguise her irregular social position, living as an unmarried woman with a married man. A Victorian woman, she chose to make her life, as well as her fiction and art, outside the conventions of the marriage plot.

George Eliot Illustration by Ludwig Hurtado

Quotes of the Week

There is no right or wrong way of growing old.
Ram Dass (died at 88)

It’s much better to age disgracefully! Take it on the chin, and roll with it. You die young, or you get older. There is nothing in between!
Helen Mirren (age 79)

Something gets old when you’ve done it for a long time. If you’re always changing, if you’re always curious, how can you be old? You’re someone new today.
Salma Hayek (age 58)

P.S. Brenda Blethyn, aka Vera, is still churning out fantastic episodes of her show at age 78. Why is it that British TV features so many more mature/older actors than US TV?